April is Child Abuse Awareness month. This year the Coalition for the Restoration of Parental Rights (CRPR), www.parentsrights.org, a national parents rights organization founded and directed by grandparents, would like to bring attention to a disturbing new trend in child abuse that is making headlines across the country – child abuse at the hands of third parties. We are hearing of more and more cases where a child has been abused, too often fatally, at the hands of someone with a close relationship to the child, other than their parents. Recently, stories have emerged about children being abused by family acquaintances, babysitters, day care providers, coaches, teachers, and perhaps most disturbing of all, their own grandparents.
Boss, Missouri:
On January 6, 2002 a
south-central Missouri man fatally shot his wife and grandson and wounded his
granddaughter before turning the .38 revolver on himself. 58-year-old Jerry
Brooks from Boss, Missouri, argued with his wife, 55-year-old Donna Brooks about
a divorce. In the course of the argument, Brooks shot his wife, his 15-year-old
grandson Justin Brooks and 17-year-old granddaughter, Nichole Brooks. Nichole
Brooks, though shot twice, escaped with her brother, Scott Brooks, 13, and went
to the nearby Viburnum Police Department where they were taken to a Salem
hospital. The three grandchildren were staying with their grandparents at their
mobile home over the weekend.
Excerpts from The Metro, St. Louis, Missouri
Benton County,
Arkansas
In Garfield, Arkansas,
5-month-old Noah Caldwell was severely abused at the hands of his grandmother’s
live-in boyfriend, Frank Oscar Todd. Todd, the boyfriend of Debbie Nelson, was
taking care of the baby and his 15-month-old sister on the night of January 13,
2002. At 8:40 pm, Todd placed a call to 911. The baby was rushed to a nearby
hospital in Rogers and then airlifted to Arkansas Children’s Hospital. Dr. Terry
Jones at ACH said the baby had bleeding between the two major halves of the
brain, and that his skull was broken on the left side of the head as a result of
a blow. Jones said the bleeding behind the baby’s eyes was so severe that there
were folds in the back of his eyes. The baby’s injuries were consistent with
being severely shaken and slammed against an object according to Dr. George
Shaffer at St. Mary’s Hospital in Rogers, where Caldwell was first taken. He was
taken off life support on January 15th and died from his injuries.
The baby also had bruises on his head and chest and had suffered multiple broken
ribs 10 days to two weeks before his death. Prosecutors have charged Todd with
Capital murder and are seeking the death penalty.
Excerpts from The Northwest Arkansas Times, Bentonville, Arkansas
Fort Myers, Florida
In a murder-suicide,
Elaine Barnhart, 59, of Ft. Myers, Florida killed herself and her 11-year-old
granddaughter, Angel Hoogstead on March 30, 2001. Barnhart left her Cadillac
running in the garage while carbon monoxide filled the house and she and the
girl slept in the back bedroom. Police knocked down the door and found the
bodies Wednesday, April 4 after the child’s mother, Tammy Hoogstad filed a
missing persons report in her hometown of Lizella, Georgia. According to
Hoogstad, after not getting an answer when she called Barnhart’s home, she
called Barnhart’s friends. One of them told her that Angel was fine and that Barnhart
was going to keep Angel because she didn’t like living in Georgia and wanted to
live in Florida. According to family members, Barnhart saw visions of the devil
and wrote a letter threatening to kill the family and herself in November of
2000. Keith and Tammy Hoogstad had cut off communication with Barnhart and their
daughter after they found the letter, but when Angel begged to visit her “nana”
for spring break, they relented. Barnhart left a note indicating the deaths
happened Friday, March 30th. In it, she wrote that her roof was leaking, her car
needed repair, she had to fight Social Security for benefits and that she
couldn’t “take it anymore.”
Barnhart also left a microcassette tape recording on her answering
machine detailing why she took her and her granddaughter’s lives. On it,
Barnhart begged for forgiveness and Angel said she hoped her parents would not
be mad if she stayed a few more days. According to authorities, the child did
not know what was happening.
Excerpts
from St. Petersburg Times, Florida
Today, many of us still like to envision all
grandparents as the mature elements who provide wisdom and stability to the
family network – the rock upon which the family structure is built. However,
demographics are showing a younger generation of grandparents who no longer fit
the mold of the gray-haired persona of yesteryear that is ingrained in our
minds. With this trend of young adults of the 70’s now becoming grandparents,
statistics indicate a trend of steady increase in abuse of children by
non-parents. Society has closed its eyes to the sad fact that some grandparents
were abusive to their own children. Some of these grandparents had their
children removed from their homes, or are on record with Social Services for
child neglect or abuse. Yet, with today’s “feel good” laws passed by lawmakers
anxious to mollify one of its largest voter populations, many of these same
grandparents have gained their “rights” to unsupervised, and often damaging,
access to the children of their children.
Grandparent visitation laws were enacted with good intentions on the part of their makers, but with time these laws have become broader, and more intrusive on the privacy of the core family than they were at the outset. Meanwhile, more grandparents, qualified or not, abusive or not, have successfully petitioned for visitation with their grandchildren. There are many laws in place to try to aid the children of an unfit parent, but there are none in place to protect children from that segment of the older generation that suffers from unfitness. All too often, the courts deliver children into the hands of their abusers.
For every case of third party abuse that is reported, many more go unreported. Liberal grandparent visitation laws are forcing fit parents to turn their children over to abusive grandparents for court-ordered visitation that is often tantamount to partial custody. When the courts and judges start interfering with the often hard decisions made by fit parents to keep their children out of the cycle of abuse that they themselves experienced at the hands of the grandparents, the consequences are devastating and frequently irreparable. Courts cannot, and should not be party to forcing a relationship between a child and his or her abuser.
The CRPR would, however, like to stand up and applaud the many grandparents in today’s society who have stepped up and provided a safe loving home for their grandchildren when the parents either cannot or will not do so. These grands are very special people who deserve to be honored. They are truly the bedrock of the family.